No, but seriously. I lived here for over two years and grew accustomed to the strengths and weaknesses of this fine town. Now I’m back this summer for a span of about three months and it seems like all anyone is talking about is The Real World filming here for the next five months. What kills me, though, is all of the pretentious bastards who take the time to complain about it. Honestly, is it really affecting you that negatively? You whine and bitch and moan about these eight strangers, picked to live in a house, and have their lives taped. Yet you can’t really come up with any concrete reasons why you’re so angry.
“They have bright lights outside their house and it bothers me.” I guess that’s legit. Because, you know, we don’t live in a major metropolitan area with bright lights and loud noises. Major movies never film here or disrupt our daily lives while blocking out scenes, altering traffic flow, or, you guessed it, setting up lights. Besides – it’s Dupont Circle, people. It’s not like their house is in Fox Hall or Woodley Park; Dupont is used to being pretty active and bustling at all times. Some lights outside your house for a few months aren’t going to ruin your life.
“Sometimes when they’re walking, they take up the sidewalks.” You’re kidding me, right? You live in DC. Have you ever even seen a tourist family? It’s a pretty solid bet that they’ll walk in clumps of four, completely abreast, in the middle of rush hour traffic. Or maybe you just disappear for the entirety of intern season. Quit your whining, twat.
“One of their camera guys pushed me.” Apparently we’re in the second grade, and someone’s a tattle tale. You’re a grown up now – sometimes people are mean. Sometimes you get pushed around a little. Sometimes, when you get on the Metro, the people who are already on the car don’t shift toward the middle when the doors open. Every now and then, people won’t even like you, and they might even call you names. It’s pretty tough out there in the Real World, huh?
Then there’s THIS GUY. What a piece of work. You set up a blog with your friends to poop on the presence of the Real World cast, blogging obsessively about every tiny thing they do that pisses you off. It kind of just makes you look like a douche. Not only the way this guy talks about scoring with Republican chicks but also the sheer glee he feels at the thought of judging people is beyond pitiful. I mean, I am the first person to admit that I can be a snobbish prick and I judge people far too much. But there is just something about this post that smacks of desperation. Calling yourself a professional writer in DC is like calling yourself educated because you finished high school. You’re the reason that people hate the exclusive and cliquish social scene of DC. Plus, you lost all credibility with this conversation:
Ashley, from the RW Cast: “Well so many people do, I mean, I guess if I lived somewhere, and a reality tv show came to town and went to my bars and restaurants, I’d be a little pissed too, but we’re just normal people, like everyone else.”
Douchebag blogger: “But, you aren’t, because you are being followed by cameras…”
Ashley: “But before we were followed by cameras, we were just like anyone else.”
Douchebag blogger: “Well, yes and no, I mean, my friends and I wouldn’t ever have cameras follow us around and EVERY ONE of us works in media. By the way, can I buy you a drink?”
You. Tool. You not only dropped that you work in the media (which, again, could be any crappy periodical/website in this city. Something tells me he isn’t on the Post’s payroll), but you sold out by trying to get in her pants. You went out of your way to be hateful to these people for months without even so much as knowing what their names were beforehand. Now you meet one and find out she’s actually a pretty decent human being, and you melt into a puddle of lame sauce.
Then you people have the audacity to get upset because people called you out on your whining? You actually made an entire post about the fact that some people said some mean things when it turned out that you were complete and utter losers. Not only is your website not funny, it’s borderline compulsive in its desperate attention-seeking behavior. No, I didn’t expect you to be bullies or shout obscenities or, heaven forbid, hit her. To be perfectly honest, if you even came close to hitting her, we would have a whole new problem on our hands. Yet, claiming that you were trying to be a humor blog and lacking any kind of real comedy is pathetic. One of your contributors clearly prides himself on his cynical view point of the world, and had no problem making fun of someone for putting some mainstream radio hits on the jukebox. This coming from the same person who most likely thinks Kings of Leon are cutting edge indie rock. The second that one of the cast member actually engages him in conversation, though, he melts like a fan boy. He is the stereotypical outsider from high school who spent three years hating the popular crowd until that fateful day when he was assigned to a group project with the head cheerleader/quarterback/Hot Person Cliché and urinated himself with uncontainable glee.
The RWDC haters assume that every person in the house is a total waste of space, a completely douchetastic stereotype that should be ridiculed non-stop. Guess what? The same could be said for the bulk of DC. I mean, seriously, people, the hipsters hate the frat guys and the gays hate the hipsters and everyone hates the Republicans. Who even cares any more? I’m not saying I don’t fall prey to some of this petty middle school inanity every now and then, but what do you think you’re going to accomplish by vilifying some kids who wanted to go on MTV and learn about themselves? Yes, they’re going to get drunk and fight and probably hook up once or twice, and I am the first to note that The Real World has significantly gone down in quality in years of late. You know you’re just bitter because they’re doing the same exact thing you do every weekend without the national media attention. Besides, and here’s a really revolutionary thought – let’s wait until we actually get to know these people before throwing them under the Metro bus.