Obviously things have transpired over the last six weeks or so, and I would love to be able to fill everyone in. I am back in the District for the summer, interning in the city, and enjoying every precious moment out of Tennessee that I can experience. Since there is far too much to fill everyone in on, I am going to simply pass it off to some friends of mine, a la textsfromlastnight.com and share some witticisms of the past month or so with you.
202: If all three of us lived in a house together, it would be the shit. Like Full House style, but not toolish.
973: You can be Kimmi Gibler.
203: I have an obsession with black toddlers.
703: We just passed a store called Cigarettes and Guns. That’s why I love Virginia.
202: I gave up all Anheuser-Busch products from July through Election Day of last year because I didn’t want to support McCain in any way.
757: I like Democrats. I don’t like giving up my beer.
214: My trip to jail is telling me not to go to the airport bar, but the alcohol is telling me to go. If they pour it, I will come.
202: Pregaming a wedding = always a good idea.
703: I’m at a gay strip club with a bunch of cokeheads. So much dick, none of it available. Fuck my life.
303: Just got a $243 speeding ticket. Epic.
202: Weddings are good because they get me drunk for free. Frat is great because they get me absolutely housed for free.
202: I think I just vomited on myself.
1-202: Your jealousy knows no bounds.
202: My jealousy brings all the boys to the yard.
202: I drank to black out seven nights in a row. I am physically dying right now. I am entropy personified.
302: You make me proud, Amy Winehouse.
202: I’m wearing a pink oxford, madras shorts, wayfarers, and boat shoes.
1-202: Please don’t get hate crimed.
703: Dayquil on an empty stomach = I am hiiiiiigh motherfucker.
757: The guy next to me in Sticky Fingers is wearing an Alf t-shirt under a blazer.
202: That asshat deserves to be punched in the throat. He probably gets hard walking into Wonderland.