Monthly Archives: June 2009

Texts From My Life

Obviously things have transpired over the last six weeks or so, and I would love to be able to fill everyone in.  I am back in the District for the summer, interning in the city, and enjoying every precious moment out of Tennessee that I can experience.   Since there is far too much to fill everyone in on, I am going to simply pass it off to some friends of mine, a la textsfromlastnight.com and share some witticisms of the past month or so with you.

202: If all three of us lived in a house together, it would be the shit.  Like Full House style, but not toolish.
973: You can be Kimmi Gibler.

203:  I have an obsession with black toddlers.

703:  We just passed a store called Cigarettes and Guns.  That’s why I love Virginia.

202: I gave up all Anheuser-Busch products from July through Election Day of last year because I didn’t want to support McCain in any way.
757: I like Democrats.  I don’t like giving up my beer.

214:  My trip to jail is telling me not to go to the airport bar, but the alcohol is telling me to go.  If they pour it, I will come.

202:  Pregaming a wedding = always a good idea.

703:  I’m at a gay strip club with a bunch of cokeheads.  So much dick, none of it available.  Fuck my life.

303:  Just got a $243 speeding ticket.  Epic.

202:  Weddings are good because they get me drunk for free.  Frat is great because they get me absolutely housed for free.

202:  I think I just vomited on myself.
1-202:  Your jealousy knows no bounds.
202: My jealousy brings all the boys to the yard.

202: I drank to black out seven nights in a row.  I am physically dying right now.  I am entropy personified.
302:  You make me proud, Amy Winehouse.

202:  I’m wearing a pink oxford, madras shorts, wayfarers, and boat shoes.
1-202: Please don’t get hate crimed.

703:  Dayquil on an empty stomach = I am hiiiiiigh motherfucker.

757:  The guy next to me in Sticky Fingers is wearing an Alf t-shirt under a blazer.
202: That asshat deserves to be punched in the throat. He probably gets hard walking into Wonderland.

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