So I was checking out from my part time job today, and as we were doing paperwork, somehow the subject of funny homeless signs came up. The two best, as volunteered by me and voted upon by coworkers, were “I’m not gonna lie, I just need a beer” and “Ninjas killed my family, need $ 4 kung fu lessons.”
How ironic that as I walked home ten minutes later, discussing impending snow and intoxication with a fraternity brother on my cell, that a homeless man chased me down the street and punched me several times in the arm. There was no provocation, I didn’t so much as look at him, but he felt I needed to be punched. Several times. Hard. I told him to fuck off, obviously, and several passers-by were freaked out by the entire scene, but a few hours later, my arm is only a little sore. Guess the moral of the story is that even though the homeless are sometimes endearing and funny with their signs, they should be avoided at all costs because of their irrational and violent tendencies. That must be it, right?