Worst Oscars Ever?

Alright, I’ll admit it.  I like to watch the Oscars.  Fuck it, I love to watch the Oscars.  As I’ve said a million times before, I am a huge snob, and it reflects through my taste – music, film, literature, what have you.  Add that to my inherent compulsion for competition, and the Academy Awards becomes one of my favorite things to look forward to every year.  However, I have to admit that last night was possibly the worst Oscars I have ever seen.  Granted, I loathe musical theater, Hugh Jackman, and stacked competition, but that’s just me.  One of the more hurtful concepts I have come to understand from growing up is that the Oscar doesn’t always go to the best performance of the year.  Sometimes the Academy feels the need to send a political message, and other times they feel obligated to award a lifetime of work to someone who has somehow never taken home the glory.  My own obsession with fairness and recognizing the best makes it hard for me to stomach when someone who was mediocre at best gets to stand on stage and join the group of past winners.  In that vein, here is my list of who won slash who should have won.  Keep in mind this is based solely on my own bitter opinions on movies I spend far too much time considering.  Also, it should be noted that I saw every film that was nominated this year, save for a few of the Foreign Language nominees and all of the documentaries. I saw only one short – “Presto” – but I don’t think anyone really sees the shorts.

We all know now that Penelope Cruz won for Best Supporting Actress, and she is obviously delightful.  She is a gorgeous talent with an uncanny ability to combine passion and sympathy on screen, and I love her for it.  But to be honest, I think Viola Davis should have won the statue.  I’m surprising myself here, because I rarely go for the role that has little screen time, but Viola showed so much emotion and turmoil in her time on screen that she truly deserved that win last night.  The restraint of her performance, as she did what she thought best for her young son in Doubt, was inspiring.  Unfortunately, the Academy rarely rewards subtle performances, preferring to praise the emotional, ostentatious, and over the top roles.  In a perfect world, Rosemarie De Witt would have won for Rachel Getting Married; since she wasn’t even nominated, I will stick with Viola Davis.

God love ya, Penny.

God love ya, Penny.

Heath Ledger has been a lock for the Oscar for months at this point, and I can’t really argue.  His portrayal of the Joker in The Dark Knight was so nuanced, so ingenious, so iconic that it would have been shocking if someone else had won.  While I find it hard to disagree with the Academy on this one, I do want to emphasize the phenomenal jobs that were done by both Michael Shannon and Philip Seymour Hoffman.  They continue to amaze me with every role they bring to the screen.

Best Original Screenplay went to Dustin Lance Black for Milk, and his speech was touching, to say the least.  In addition, I have to give him credit where credit is due – his script was meticulously researched.  I think any of the films in this category could have won, but I would have to tip my favor to Happy-Go-Lucky and Mike LeighWALL-E was fascinating, and the wonders that were presented, especially without speech, have hopefully transformed the future of screenplays.  That said, while I believe that anyone can write a tragic film or period piece, as was the case with the other three nominees, it takes true talent to create a character with endearing optimism and cheerfulness without overdosing on saccharine.  Mike Leigh accomplished that with Poppy in Happy-Go-Lucky and I was pleasantly surprised.

Slumdog Millionaire was a juggernaut last night, and Best Adapted Screenplay was one of many Oscars that it won, with this specific trophy going to Simon Beaufoy.  My pick would have been Eric Roth & Robin Swicord for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button; while it was a short story that was turned into a two hour and forty eight minute film (which people never cease to joke about, as if it were somehow funny), the film was still astonishingly well done.  The story and the dialog were wonderful, and while a few pieces could have been cut, I loved the entire film.  Doubt, another extraordinary film, fumbled a little in its translation from the stage to the screen, as some of its metaphors were rather heavy handed, and the speech almost too rigid in places.  Frost/Nixon was simply a catastrophe.  Button, though, was heart-warming and enjoyable without being insufferable, as Slumdog quickly became.

I was truly shocked, as was everyone else who knew their shit, when Departures won for Best Foreign Language Film.  The Class from France was infinitely better done – acting, writing, and filming were all leaps and bounds above Departures.  Yet I would still award the Oscar to Waltz With Bashir.  The animation was outstanding and the story equally so; eventually, I hope the Academy begins to recognize the beauty that can be utilized through animation, much as was done last year with Persepolis.  Until then, we will have to stomach more mediocrity.

Best Director was Danny Boyle‘s to lose last night.  To be honest, I can’t say I am that angry.  I probably would have preferred David Fincher to win for Button, but Boyle is so infectiously charming and so obviously talented, that I can’t really argue with the Academy on this one.  Slumdog is quite an adventure, a dizzying rush of flashbacks, with several narratives deftly tied into one cohesive thread by Boyle’s vision.  I do think that this award, though, was more of a man getting his due for a career of great work rather than one stunning film.

I will see anything Kate Winslet does, hands down.  I think she and Meryl Streep are the two most talented performers out there, male or female.  Which is why it’s so difficult for me to be disappointed in her win for last night; it was so long coming, and she was certainly being rewarded for a career of sensational roles.  If she had won for Revolutionary Road, I would have been able to handle her win better, but since she won for The Reader, I will hang on to my claim that Anne Hathaway should have won last night.  Her portrayal of Kym in Rachel Getting Married was simultaneously breath-taking and star-making.  Kym was a hurricane in the movie, breaking the audience’s heart and infuriating them at the same time.  I don’t even like her that much, personally, because I always detected a level of smugness from her that unsettled me.  However, I will steadfastly believe that Kym was a better role than Hannah Schmitz.  I must reiterate, though, that I am beaming with pride for Kate Winslet, as I have loved her for years.

How can you not be happy for her?

How can you not be happy for her?

I have never been a fan of Mickey Rourke and I will be the first to admit it.  His campaigning for an Oscar this year has been equal parts refreshing and crass, as I’ve never seen someone so eager to win.  Regardless, in yet another case of rewarding a mimicry, or even a caricature, of a historical figure, Sean Penn won for the role of Harvey Milk.  Rourke’s work as Randy “The Ram” Robinson in The Wrestler was more original, more touching, and less cartoonish than Penn.  Again, I think I was the only person who vehemently disliked Milk, and the rumblings I had heard of Penn dropping the f-bomb in his personal life certainly didn’t win him any points in my mind.  The work, over all, speaks for itself – Rourke simply did a better job than Penn.

Finally, for Best Film, I remain true to my original feelings – Slumdog Millionaire was not, by any means, the best motion picture of 2008.  The story had myriad holes in plot, the luck of Jamal was implausible, at best, and the narrative itself was just kind of all over the place.  I am no moron, and I enjoy a complex and layered story more than most people, but Slumdog left me feeling merely satisfied and not mesmerized like most critics.  Frost/Nixon was flat, horrendously biased, and stumbled in the translation to film; The Reader was slow and I had problems with it treating a Nazi guard so sympathetically.  My feelings concerning Milk need not be repeated.  To be honest, I would have loved to see Rachel Getting Married win the Best Film, but as we are dealing with the real world, I would pick The Curious Case of Benjamin Button as the winner.  The story was enthralling, the direction sublime, and the feel of the film was very similar to Forrest Gump, but with more bite and humor.  The story was even more implausible than Slumdog, but it embraced this quirk rather than ignoring it.  I was truly immersed in the world of Button, instead of noticing plot problems and checking my watch, much like what happened to me while watching Slumdog.

Trust me, I fully understand how political the Oscars have become, and how other awards shows that lead up to it, including but not limited to the Directors’ Guild, Producers’ Guild, and the Screen Actors’ Guild Awards.  Just because you gave the best performance of the year or created the most remarkable motion picture doesn’t mean that you will necessarily win the Academy Award.  That said, I was thoroughly disappointed with almost every facet of last night’s ceremony.  Hopefully, the ceremony of 2010 will be better in every way; to be sure, it can’t get much worse.

Fey and Martin were probably the only truly enjoyable moment of the night.  Fey FTW.

Fey and Martin were probably the only truly enjoyable moment of the night. Fey FTW.

4 Comments

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4 responses to “Worst Oscars Ever?

  1. Let’s go see Benjamin Button together when I come to TN. I haven’t seen it yet, and it sounds as if you wouldn’t mind seeing it again.

    You don’t like musical theatre? I may not be able to be friends with you. West Side Story is like my favorite thing EVER.

    Musical theatre is painful for me to witness, but West Side Story really isn’t that bad. I like Grease and a handful of others, too. That said, the monstrosity created by Baz Luhrmann and enacted by Hugh Jackman and his ilk, in a desperate attempt to proclaim “The musical is back,” made me want to physically harm myself.

    And hell yes I would watch Button again.

  2. I didn’t like Milk either, babe.

    Is it the dropped plot points? The raging scorn and heterophobia? How about the manipulation of the audience? Two words – hated it.

  3. I think if you love musicals, as I do, the Luhrman montage of doom was even more horrible and insulting.

    One can only imagine. I bet it was an insult to just about everyone watching, regardless of taste.

  4. I am SO glad that you (someone/anyone) realizes how amazing Michael Shannon was in Revolutionary Road.

    I thought he just MADE the movie. His portrayal was so amazing…it might be the only thing from the book that maintained its shape in the film.

    Le sigh.

    But what about Gran Torino?!

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